https://www.nataliechan.studio/about daily 0.75 2024-02-02 https://www.nataliechan.studio/contact daily 0.75 2024-02-02 https://www.nataliechan.studio/ceramics daily 0.75 2024-02-02 https://www.nataliechan.studio/ceramics/p/hand-made-ceramic-pour-over-coffee-set monthly 0.5 2024-02-02 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1706890698724-FML0PDKRUIPR8496NIFS/IMG_2687-2.jpg Ceramics - Hand-Made Ceramic Pour-over Coffee Set https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1706890987080-4BTCPUU9WZKNNJ43CVAT/047A1625-06FA-434E-B985-CE3E18ECE1E5.jpg Ceramics - Hand-Made Ceramic Pour-over Coffee Set https://www.nataliechan.studio/ceramics/p/hand-made-ceramic-succulent-planter monthly 0.5 2024-02-02 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1706890507432-O1Z1KSBSO1RU10FZ1UC1/ACS_0342-2.jpg Ceramics - Hand-Made Ceramic Succulent Planter https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1706890509484-6H4A3EGFON6J1JJJNIQF/ACS_0344-2.jpg Ceramics - Hand-Made Ceramic Succulent Planter https://www.nataliechan.studio/ceramics/p/hand-crafted-eucalyptus-candle-and-ceramic-candle-holder monthly 0.5 2024-02-02 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1706889815904-A3IDSVP3KR4RL77PND9L/IMG_8012-2.jpg Ceramics - Hand-Crafted Eucalyptus Candle and Ceramic Candle Holder https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1706890260521-TOVF3XSBYXV4TPNKFSNM/IMG_7766.jpg Ceramics - Hand-Crafted Eucalyptus Candle and Ceramic Candle Holder https://www.nataliechan.studio/ceramics/p/hand-made-tea-cups-with-japanese-shino-glaze monthly 0.5 2024-02-02 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1706889340520-M6S8EFZBBX350NX045S5/IMG_9847-2.jpg Ceramics - Hand-Made Tea Cups with Japanese Shino Glaze https://www.nataliechan.studio/ceramics/p/hand-painted-speckled-expresso-cup monthly 0.5 2024-02-02 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1706888395148-339IFECS77KX75Q23W35/IMG_1063.jpg Ceramics - Hand-Painted 4 oz. Speckled Expresso Cup https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1706888403305-LTAULV5ELI12C7Y8FZM3/IMG_1111-2.jpg Ceramics - Hand-Painted 4 oz. Speckled Expresso Cup https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1706888404727-9TQDQYAN4UU8QCSMFZO9/ACS_0301-2.jpg Ceramics - Hand-Painted 4 oz. Speckled Expresso Cup https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1706888410020-2FH7BKYCMKB8DR7QXP87/ACS_0302-2.jpg Ceramics - Hand-Painted 4 oz. Speckled Expresso Cup https://www.nataliechan.studio/ceramics/p/handmade-8-customizable-low-bowl monthly 0.5 2024-02-02 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1706887429730-9KVCTAU86VHP1T79EZ7Q/IMG_2660-2.jpg Ceramics - Handmade 8" Customizable Low Bowl https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1706887706847-8INC6TXWVZAX1WEUDC72/IMG_2657-2.jpg Ceramics - Handmade 8" Customizable Low Bowl https://www.nataliechan.studio/tarotcards daily 1.0 2025-02-03 https://www.nataliechan.studio/tarotcards/swords monthly 0.5 2021-07-14 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632762954236-MEWRN7AOOKQ7ZSTLZPOO/Ace-of-Swords-Edit+copy-2.jpg Tarot Cards - Swords - Ace of Swords: work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632763449901-DCWOLW7LYD52BTPCHEIA/Two-of-Swords.jpg Tarot Cards - Swords - Two of Swords: Expanding the texture of our mental facet in uncertainty Montaigne expresses his idea of treating experience as a means to the knowing: “There is no desire more natural than that of knowledge. We try all ways that can lead us to it; where reason is wanting, we therein employ experience,..” Children learn that flame is blazingly hot by accidentally having their fingers burnt. We realize that sorrow and happiness are two sides of the same coin by going through ups-and-downs in relationships. Experiences hovered by our willingness to cast an analytical eye over lead to a deeper knowing of ourselves and the world. Two of Swords is the analytical eye in us. Experiences in life, however, can be uncertain. People’s intentions often come across as ambiguous. Even our own mind betrays us for being indecisive. Uncertainties in life sometimes show up as an obstacle to a clear path. We do not know which way to go, when is the time to exit or how to say no. Two of Swords pleads for a positive way of seeing those unsettling experiences as a chance to expand the texture of our mental facet by going through a series of honest investigations of the self and surroundings. What will the future be like after the COVID pandemic? Why am I allowing this person to come in and out of my life? We might not know the answers right away. Two of Swords invites us to make a shift in our perspective, taking the uncertainty as an opportunity to go within, stay with the discomfort of not knowing at the moment, and to take credit for simply just going through this experience. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632763673977-279R0Q4KW0JRUE7O0RY2/Three-of-Swords.jpg Tarot Cards - Swords - Three of Swords: Trigger stacking Our body induces a stress hormone called cortisol when we are under stress. Cortisol goes into the liver and stimulates liver gluconeogenesis and liver glycogenolysis that pump out glucose for our brain to consume as an energy source. In a stress response triggered by a sudden change in environment or any novelty in life (a truck spinning off and coming at you on the street or a life-threatening global pandemic), our brain needs a spike of energy to think about how to react in order to survive. It is the positive function of stress and cortisol works in our favor by inducing nutrients for the brain in those dire situations. However, if we are exposed to stress chronically, the surplus amount of cortisol flowing in our body actually suppresses the immune system. We get sick and are sick longer. Long-term caregivers of Alzheimer’s patients are reported to suffer significantly more days from infectious illness. People who are chronically stressed also heal slower. Emotional stress throws our physiological system out of balance. We all have a limit of how much stress we can handle. We might not necessarily know how much is too much, but our body knows. In animal behavioral therapy, there is a term called “trigger stacking” describing dogs that experience stressful events and have physiological responses once the limit is over the threshold. We, as humans, also tend to “stack up” stress, somewhere in the back of our mind: “I will deal with it later.” Chronic stress is like that huge pile in us that we accumulate over time and ignore; our immunity gets weak; mood’s unstable. And one day a tiny, oftentime irrelevant, trigger sets it off. We lose our cool; we collapse. Helpless dark clouds take over. When we pull Three of Swords, give ourselves a second. Close your eyes, sit up straight, relax your shoulders. Take a deep breath in and when exhale, imagine the air massages those tight nodes throughout your body on its way out. One of the best ways to handle triggering is to remove ourselves from the source. But not everyone has the privilege to do so: the individual in a stranded marital relationship with children; the spousal caregiver of Parkinson’s patient. Three of Swords invites us to take incremental steps to go offline when we can; to take that deep breath when we can; to stay still to listen to the sound of bird chirping when we can. Solution might not be near, but we are so free to be free even just for a teeny-tiny period of time. Three of Swords emphasizes on giving ourselves the permission to feel angry, to feel honest about wanting to escape. We all have done enough. Maybe through these petite discoveries of peace, we will find a way to coexist with stress in a more balanced term. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632763734870-B78HM580WLQSICP8ICZ5/Four-of-Swords.jpg Tarot Cards - Swords - Four of Swords: I’ve forgotten how to rest. In the summer of 2012, my business partner and I opened a rustic coworking space in an “up-and-coming” (a.k.a soon-to-be gentrified) neighborhood called Bushwick in Brooklyn, NY. I remembered vividly that the landlord, Sal, warned us after we signed the lease: “Being your own boss is great, but remember to sleep.” I laughed it off thinking “I sleep just fine.” According to a research done by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the failure rate of small businesses goes up as the time goes on unmistakably: approximately 20% fail within the first year; 30% by the second. By the end of a decade, 70% of small businesses close their doors. Quickly I realized that owning a business, everything keeps you awake at night: low cash flow, membership stagnation, the one-star Yelp review. I used to live two blocks away from the business. Every time I heard a fire truck going by with the siren on, my heart sank worrying if it was my space that caught on fire. Anxiety built up and started eating me away. Sleep wasn’t an issue at first but soon it began breaking into fragments as I would wake up in the middle of the night checking if my clients had sent me emails or texts with endless concerns about their upcoming events. I let the boundary of my work and personal time loose by replying to work emails in my spare time fearing that the deal would fall through if I did not answer the questions right away. Resting for my own sake was not my priority anymore. Five years into the business, I became disgustedly unhappy and stopped showing up for myself. The absence was affecting every aspect of my life: half-ass relationships, unpersuasive mental swings, disconnected spiritual practice. I had a hard time breathing accompanied by an increasing headache and endless fatigue. Nearly holding up, I signed up for spiritual mentorship with Rebecca Conran for help. We dive deeply into a lot of untouched territories in my psyche, including the unattended inner child and neglected desires. Eventually we hit a wall when she suggested making time in my day to do nothing. Like, nothing. The sound of her saying the word “nothing” felt hazy: I knew what it meant but I could not grasp any reference point internally to relate to it. I asked Rebecca “Do nothing? What do you mean?” She replied, “No agenda, no phone or laptop, rest.” Four of Swords teaches us the dedication of doing nothing, of being at ease. Sometimes our physical body gets disease because we are “dis-ease” mentally. Accepting that we deserve to rest without achieving goals is inconceivable. We are constantly on the brink of falling apart. It is never enough. Pulling this card we are invited to quiet down the mind and allow our body to relax. Resting sends a signal to our whole being that we are in a safe space: anxiety is ok here, disappointment is accepted, anger is heard. There is no need to do more or less. Do nothing and rest. This would be the ninth year of the business. I still do not really know how to fully incorporate the nothingness in my daily life as my self-acceptance of rest continues to fluctuate. But now I set a clearer boundary for my personal time to protect the breeze of ease to come through uninterruptedly. And maybe one day, I will finally get a good night's sleep. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632763805301-6SGUZRI5C5R85RCQNH3W/Five-of-Swords.jpg Tarot Cards - Swords - Five of Swords: Coping with ambiguous loss through paradoxical thinking I lost my mother when I was in college. She went missing abruptly one day in the summer of 2002 and reappeared after two weeks. On that day in the evening, I heard someone opening the front door. “It’s Mother!” I rushed over to greet her. The person standing in front of me though, was not my mother. It was her, but it was not her. She glanced at me and walked right by as if I was a stranger. Her state of being declined rapidly soon after. She passed away a week later. I do not ever know how I lost my mother--where did she go during those two weeks; what happened to her that ruptured her mental state; whether she intended to die this way. The ambiguity in her death led me astray with lingering chronic sorrow for the next six years in my life. Eventually I came to terms with what seems to be paradoxical: the scenarios leading to her death that I ruminate are all true. No more denial of one way or the other. As Pauline Boss said it in an interview: “...the only way to live with ambiguous loss is to hold two opposing ideas in your mind at the same time.” The loved one who went missing is gone. He could be still alive, but he could also be dead. In my mother’s case, the mystery could go either way. And I am ok with it all. This stage of acceptance after a loss is what Five of Swords brings us. Sorrow comes and goes. Griefing might never end but the acceptance of our ambiguous loss, like the string wrapping the two hands in the card, connects us gently with our loss in spirit through what forever remains in our memory. Somehow one day what we have been holding onto starts to shift. The discomfort from the unanswered slowly dissolves. Closure is still nowhere in sight but we recreate it. This transformation in us from the utterly deep sadness to a state of contentment sitting side by side with the unknown is the best gift that Five of Swords offers. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632764061114-XXTRF3VYI0WM7LOW68WF/Six-of-Swords.jpg Tarot Cards - Swords - Six of Swords Receiving is an act of self-care; it could be from others, or from yourself. The love or offer you receive is helpful for caring yourself, but allowing yourself to receive is the real part of the care. Allow it. Allowing takes self-love, loving yourself takes acceptance, acceptance takes understanding, and understanding takes honesty. Being honest with yourself is the first step towards everything. Be honest with yourself, so you understand who you are, so you love who you are, so you allow a space in you open up to receive love. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632764136628-IBP3VB6QK7CGWT28OYG4/7_Seven-of-Swords.jpg Tarot Cards - Swords - Seven of Swords: You Are Enough. work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632764535312-T9K3JZ6HXPNEDN8V089L/Eight-of-Swords.jpg Tarot Cards - Swords - Eight of Swords: You Are Not Stuck See the man in the drawing? He seems stuck: he’s holding a stick that is too long to go through the gate. The outside world is sunny with bright sky and lovely hills. All the man wants is to get away from the dark place he’s in. His shadow is just as heavy as his worries. Million things run through his mind: “Maybe I should do this…or instead of that, I could try this…and talk to this person..” But if he could hold off the thoughts for a second and carry the stick vertically, he could easily walk out without ever entertaining any of the worries. Eight of Swords is an invite to shift our perspectives when things aren’t going our way. It is a very gentle energy like an old friend who we would always call when things are a bit sour. Behind the gentle reminder from this card however, the change we need to take in order to release ourselves from the situation could be drastic. Like the man with the horizontal positioned stick, only the willingness of trying out something uncomfortable could possibly take us out and forward. This card is not only a lesson of shifting perspectives, but also an opportunity to get in touch with our Self: a check-in to see if we are aligned and at ease with openness when our mind needs to be. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632764809293-4LKTJ3DNXUY99HHMOL9S/Nine-of-Swords.jpg Tarot Cards - Swords - Nine of Swords work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632764846883-K4H3LL0T7EV52JG2CNAD/Ten-of-Swords.jpg Tarot Cards - Swords - Ten of Swords work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632839499796-YZ53Y9VF617BQZCJZUK6/11_Page-of-Swords.jpg Tarot Cards - Swords - Page of Swords work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632839545620-489IRHSU1QNO6H1EOEKN/Knight-of-Swords.jpg Tarot Cards - Swords - Knight of Swords work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632839591174-15WSDO6JFY2GLIBCYA7D/Queen-of-Swords.jpg Tarot Cards - Swords - Queen of Cups work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632839655646-MDDT1EHIH31ULIKRJ8EH/King-of-Swords.jpg Tarot Cards - Swords - King of Swords work in progress https://www.nataliechan.studio/tarotcards/pentacles monthly 0.5 2021-07-14 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632849299135-83J86PFMQ2V8OBYPSVDR/Ace-of-Pentacles.jpg Tarot Cards - Pentacles - Ace of Pentacles: work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632849249396-C9LC4N7TBQ1135DSZOIH/Two-of-Pentacles.jpg Tarot Cards - Pentacles - Two of Pentacles: work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632849446531-BBALPSWLR6YIWEPWMUEO/Three-of-Pentacles.jpg Tarot Cards - Pentacles - Three of Pentacles: At the right place, at the right time, with the right people In Sun Bin’s Art of War, a military strategy book written around AD1000, there is a chapter called “Moon War '' where he emphasizes the importance of the alignment of three elements for initiating a war: weather, location and soldiers. (work in progress) https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632850784120-JHFX6VYFI9GI5K4QIP96/Four-of-Pentacles.jpg Tarot Cards - Pentacles - Four of Pentacles: The Protector of Your Energy As a grown woman who’s been through stuff, healing is an ongoing journey. It takes a lot of agonizing inner work to come to terms with certain facets in life. There’s always a conscious emphasis on improving my whole being for my own sake as well as for the people I choose to spend time with. It didn’t come naturally to sit quietly in a flow; I used to go along instead of saying no; I finally feel it’s in my right to call things off. It’s an acquired privilege: to be selective and to know that it is also a privilege for others to be in my energy realm. Not everyone deserves it, certainly not those who think they do. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632850839824-2Z9UYKUT6ZIF5MZYIKFC/Five-of-Pentacles.jpg Tarot Cards - Pentacles - Five of Pentacles: Stay Grounded work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632850923257-J1P8QHLPAFSRZP9E1ZOP/Six-of-Pentacles.jpg Tarot Cards - Pentacles - Six of Pentacles work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632851099735-OMXQA2BZE7HB4JJ2BBRW/Seven-of-Pentacles.jpg Tarot Cards - Pentacles - Seven of Pentacles: The Game of Tetris In the game of Tetris, pieces with different shapes descend onto the playing field. The goal is to match those pieces and complete lines after lines (so they disappear) in order to maintain the vacant space. Sometimes a player would have to wait for a “good” piece to eliminate a big chunk at once while having incomplete holes everywhere as well as the increasingly growing blocks which induce a copious amount of anxiety. Seven of Pentacles asks us to reside in those uncertain spaces and wait for the right timing for that good piece to arrive in life. In Human all Too Human, Nietzsche expresses his concern with the impatience in humans: “[The modern] individual focuses too narrowly on his own short lifespan...and wants to pluck the fruit himself from the tree he plants, and so no longer likes to plant those trees that demand a century of constant tending and are intended to provide shade for long successions of generations.” Understandably, we all have the inherent urge to remove ourselves from the uncertainty. There are evolutionary benefits for our brains to react quickly. However, Seven of Pentacles invites us to foresee a more aligned future and resist the immediate grasp for comfort. It takes trust in the Self to surrender to ambivalence. To trust the timing is power. To reconstruct the anxiety into a new dimension for growth is power. Why do we need validations from others so restlessly? Is there something we can do to bring us back to our own sovereignty? Can we become our own safe space? Trust that you are exactly where you are supposed to be at this very moment in life. Let the pieces fall in, fall out. Channel the energy for the good piece to come through. Wait for the heart to jump-start anew. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632851143034-N0HE4O29DN59VWPWFL59/Eight-of-Pentacles.jpg Tarot Cards - Pentacles - Eight of Pentacles work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632851171135-G38HPRXQNAC6Y43GG17G/9_Nine-of-Pentacles.jpg Tarot Cards - Pentacles - Nine of Pentacles work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632851215607-UMOKN1BPM0S9EBGU69KH/Ten-of-Pentacles.jpg Tarot Cards - Pentacles - Ten of Pentacles work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632851257349-9NJNJCVJP46H4Z3UT413/Page-of-Pentacles.jpg Tarot Cards - Pentacles - Page of Pentacles work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632851351730-PCC4JHZ1DX0HYGME6COB/Knight-of-Pentacles.jpg Tarot Cards - Pentacles - Knight of Pentacles: Preparation work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632851392394-9KGLM07BBF78OXNCKM66/Queen-of-Pentacles.jpg Tarot Cards - Pentacles - Queen of Pentacles work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632851431081-Z1G8H1N3IDI23KOG4H2G/King-of-Pentacles.jpg Tarot Cards - Pentacles - King of Pentacles: work in progress https://www.nataliechan.studio/tarotcards/cups monthly 0.5 2021-07-14 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632843244519-RYIANTNWR32IXBJJSZD3/Ace-of-Cups.jpg Tarot Cards - Cups - Ace of Cups: The project of Epimeleia Heautou, the care of the self Dreams are too often vaporized. Wonders live a short life. But there is no better place to be---the seclusive corner of the mind; the container for the self where we tuck all the whispers away; the source of the creativity where our ideas germinate. Ace of Cups calls for the project of Epimeleia Heautou, “the care of the self”, a continuous act to cultivate and transform one-self in order to have access to the truth. In Plato's Apology, Socrates tirelessly approaches people and encourages them to attend to themselves, take care of themselves, and not neglect themselves. As Foucault puts it, “The care of one-self is a sort of thorn which must be stuck in men’s flesh, driven into their existence, and which is a principle of restlessness and movement, of continuous concern throughout life.” With this card, we want to take a more ambitious stand for the modern concept of “self-care” ---we are not only allowing ourselves to soak in a hot tub under the moonlight, or to receive an overdue massage; we are also touching the kind of self-care that is beyond physical relaxation; that rises fruitfully from the spiritual and intellectual awakenings, the kind of self-care that is utterly uncomfortable yet empowering, the quintessential act of Epimeleia Heautou. We draw our attention back to the source of our mind. We are asked to put the emphasis on the self, not in the sense of selfishness, but the solitary enrichment of the self that enables in fact, the opposite of selfishness--the consideration for and connection with the others to grow authentically. As Stephen Batchelor puts it, “When you practice solitude, you dedicate yourself to the care of the soul.” In this card, we are face-to-face with the relationship of the self to the self. We become the object, as well as the subject of the act. “To tell the truth, ...solitude broadens my horizon and expands me outward: I throw myself into the affairs of state and into the wide world more willingly when I am alone.” --Michel de Montaigne https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632843374465-5XCWKLCYG7RBWZTWQSGY/Two-of-Cups.jpg Tarot Cards - Cups - Two of Cups: Hinge First Date It is a house of soundless melody. It is a house of antithesis. It is a house of pauses made to fret the surface. We take turns to tell stories. As if we didn't, Time would slip away, a part of us would fade, the hand once touched the flesh of memory would rot from within. Up and down, brightening and then darkened. Coexistence separates, but singularity blends. The end of the day, it is a house of two cups-- half too empty, half too full. The unfamiliar resonates, the absent remains. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632843514178-W5SN1CA7DHQOCFO2EEYP/Three-of-Cups.jpg Tarot Cards - Cups - Three of Cups: Friendship work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632843635909-JZIZ7T7G3WUJRM7635M0/Four-of-Cups.jpg Tarot Cards - Cups - Four of Cups: The architect of emotional barriers From the existentialist point of view, becoming an individual, a true self, who has risen above the “herd” in a society against loneliness is a goal rather than a starting point, as Nietzche eloquently preaches. Oftentime, we are conditioned to react to life for the sake of conformity with an involuntary velocity. An empty glass? Fill it up! Below the standard? Achieve more! Love departed, swipe right. The act to elongate the empty period in between two stages has ceased to nothing as our attention span was traded with more instant posts. A life devoid of void. Dust never settles. The wound remains open. Four of Cups asks for a moment to assemble emotional barriers within us, creating a solitary space to re-access, to wonder, to return to the true self, in situations where we are inevitably expected to react against our own timing, as the “herd” would. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632843698032-SOQ2GEUJAPLO748A4Z64/5_Five-of-Cups.jpg Tarot Cards - Cups - Five of Cups: The remedy for a broken heart Heart sank, body collapsed, mind fell. It’s a temporary moment when we want to keep a quiet distance from the world: miss a subway stop on purpose; park the car but sit inside to breathe for a moment; have all the groceries in hand but take a detour to get home. There is a place we do not want to be in, yet cannot escape from. It might be a physical space, but most of the time, it is a state of mind. Sorrow emerges. Balloons fly away. Sky cries. We are barely lifted. So we take a step back, to grieve, to forgive. If taking a dose of aloneness helps, so be it. Take your time to process. Take your time to empty out. Only when we untangle the tanglement inwards do we have the capacity to let go and set free. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632843776047-QBJC4X0Z97YA1C5HH8W1/Six-of-Cups.jpg Tarot Cards - Cups - Six of Cups: Inner Child work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632848244018-1DJW4AQNW4A7GJATAVOO/Seven-of-Cups.jpg Tarot Cards - Cups - Seven of Cups: Practicing non-reactivity Viktor Frankl, a neurologist, psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor says “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” Seven of Cups takes us into that in-between space--the solitary space of contemplation, of suspension, the autonomy to choose non-reactivity. We face choices in life--a job switch, two love letters, three reservations. Everyday feels like a deadline of some sort tinted with unread texts and pressing notifications. On a good day, we get on with the rhythm. Other days we fall into a dark trap that is so out of sync. NYT columnist Adam Grant describes it as “languishing”, a mental state in which you feel neither depressed nor hopeful. The best example would be how most of us felt in 2021, a time when the most horrifying peak of the pandemic was finally declining yet the COVID vaccination rate was climbing reluctantly too slowly. We weren’t mental burned out like the year before anymore, but we’re not thriving either. In itself it is a form of stillness, stagnation. We can set little goals daily to envision the progress to calm the nerve, as Grant suggested, or immerse ourselves in characters of a Netflix show that takes us out of a sense of time, space and self temporarily. Whatever we choose to do--to go with the flow or to push it through--ultimately we can choose not to choose, at all. Seven is a deeply reclusive and private zone according to numerology. Seven of Cups calls for an introspective autonomy in us that guards us from feeling the need to react that we are very much conditioned to do. It is essentially the trust in ourselves--to know intuitively that it is ok not to fix a problem; it is ok not to pick anything from anyone; it is ok for things to fall apart. Non-reactivity is not being in denial or being nihilist. As Viktor Frankl says, it is ultimately in our power to choose our response--even a no response, a blank one that is so vast for all yet to come to germinate and flourish in spaces that are enriched by the deliberate hibernation. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632848355988-5B4OD0SBINTKVA9JSA8D/Eight-of-Cups.jpg Tarot Cards - Cups - Eight of Cups: The Art of Goodbye Adios by Naomi Shihab Nye It is a good word, rolling off the tongue no matter what language you were born with. Use it. Learn where it begins, the small alphabet of departure, how long it takes to think of it, then say it, then be heard. Marry it. More than any golden ring it shines, it shines. Wear it on every finger till your hands dance, touching everything easily, letting everything, easily, go. Strap it to your back like wings. Or a kite-tail. The stream of air behind a jet. If you are known for anything, Let it be the way you rise out of sight when your work is finished. Think of things that linger: leaves, cartons and napkins, the damp smell of mold. Think of things that disappear. Think of what you love best, what brings tears into your eyes. Something that said adios to you before you knew what it meant or how long it was for. Explain little, the word explains itself. Later perhaps. Lessons following lessons, like silence following sound. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632848428170-K4LIQ2LT8N5AETCYH6NK/Nine-of-Cups.jpg Tarot Cards - Cups - Nine of Cups: Dreamers work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632848477161-S59Q88XT40FWD3EBHVCU/10_Ten-of-Cups.jpg Tarot Cards - Cups - Ten of Cups: Sky Lanterns work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632848540549-MJIBIHEUR1FVLZDD8HTD/Page-of-Cups.jpg Tarot Cards - Cups - Page of Cups: The Creative Child in You work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632848805097-M49S96WR7NDBANMB6DEA/Knight-of-Cups.jpg Tarot Cards - Cups - Knight of Cups: Living with “stop signs” in life Growth is not linear. I have been an Ashtanga yoga practitioner since 2013. It is the type of practice that requires the practitioners to memorize the sequence without being led. The instructor is present to assist, give guidance and teach the practitioner the next pose in the sequence according to the individual's progress. There are six series: the primary, second (intermediate), and Advanced A, B, C, D. I was given a pose called Kapotasana in the second series in October 2018. Imagine both of your knees and the upward part of your feet pressing into the ground (your body from the side looks like a “L”). From there, do a deep backbend so you grab onto your heels with your head and elbows landed on the ground (so your body forms a loop). I spent the entire year of 2019 working on it: from barely touching my pinky toes to finally holding onto the middle part of my feet by making deeper and deeper backbends each day. And then came the year of 2020: COVID hit. Everything paused. So did I. I stopped practicing the second series because it was simply too much for my body to handle while coping with the pandemic. Fast forward to early 2021 when the social distancing was still largely in place in the U.S., I joined a yoga center online and gradually started building my practice back towards where I had paused. Two months into the online practice, I was face-to-face with the notorious Kapotasana again, the pose that takes both mental and physical strength to achieve. I knew what was going to hurt, how and when during the pose back in 2018, yet only three years later, after a long pause of practicing, I learned how to prepare myself with more grace and patience. The COVID pandemic pulled us all back. We had no choice but to stop everything; either it’s the learning of Kapotasana or life in general. One step forward, two steps back. Progress is never linear. Knight of Cups invites us to recognize the inevitable--whether it is an abrupt move, a loss in the family, or simply a much needed break to reset--and embrace the fact that life does not always move forward as we plan. The secret is remembering the “why's” that got us going before life takes a detour--why did I start practicing Ashtanga? Why did I want to go to Italy for culinary school? Why did I want to become an architect? Never forget why you started, even if we come to a stop sign in life, the growth will eventually catch up. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632849023509-C357EL68A660NO4DX62A/Queen-of-Cups.jpg Tarot Cards - Cups - Queen of Cups: Understanding Feminine Intelligence through The Power of Nonviolence Nothing is ever too over the top about her. She doesn’t claim the center of the attention but there is a sense of acute attentiveness in her aura. She has her own set of exuberant terms to describe the world yet her observations are often kept private. When you come around her energic realm, there is always an unspoken demand of gaining access to the most genuine version of you, the one without any add-ons. That is how she comprehends: through honesty, simplicity, absence of vanity. She intrinsically knows who deserves acknowledgment, who deserves answers, and who deserves absolutely nothing. Her being is like tree roots growing underground--never aggressive with force but strong with steadiness. She knows where she belongs. She belongs to herself. She is the embodiment of the feminine intelligence. In his speech in 1957Dr. Martin Luther King talks about the philosophy of the nonviolent resistance behind the Montgomery boycott: “We had to make it clear that nonviolent resistance is not a method of cowardice. It does resist. It is not a method of stagnant passivity and deadening complacency….This method is nonaggressive physically but strongly aggressive spiritually.” Queen of Cups teaches us how to fight the fight through the help of the feminie intelligence that is embedded in all of us: with a strong inner anchor, the self-reliance in each one of us renders a much larger conscience collectively against oppression. The non-violent resistance, as Gandhi called it “satyagraha” which means truth force, aims to convert/persuade the opponent to your point of view by insisting on the truth steadily. It takes an enormous amount of strength--the spiritual strength that doesn’t cut through flesh but eventually, the mind. That is, the power of the Queen of Cups. The House of Belonging by David Whyte (the Morse code in the image is an excerpt of the poem) I awoke this morning in the gold light turning this way and that thinking for a moment it was one day like any other. But the veil had gone from my darkened heart and I thought it must have been the quiet candlelight that filled my room, it must have been the first easy rhythm with which I breathed myself to sleep, it must have been the prayer I said speaking to the otherness of the night. And I thought this is the good day you could meet your love, this is the black day someone close to you could die. This is the day you realise how easily the thread is broken between this world and the next and I found myself sitting up in the quiet pathway of light, the tawny close grained cedar burning round me like fire and all the angels of this housely heaven ascending through the first roof of light the sun has made. This is the bright home in which I live, this is where I ask my friends to come, this is where I want to love all the things it has taken me so long to learn to love. This is the temple of my adult aloneness and I belong to that aloneness as I belong to my life. There is no house like the house of belonging. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632849091010-GGKC9SCMZT1BA59XQEUA/King-of-Cups.jpg Tarot Cards - Cups - King of Cups: Sharing is Caring work in progress https://www.nataliechan.studio/tarotcards/wands monthly 0.5 2021-07-14 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632840264368-O7UT8Q1BU8RHSLR2Y6RP/Ace-of-wands_WEB.jpg Tarot Cards - Wands - Ace of Wands work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632840311973-X9UNXJ4ZT7WLJFDNF14K/2-of-wands_web.jpg Tarot Cards - Wands - Two of Wands work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632840457758-YSY891TLEUT5EVII0KIH/3-of-wands_web.jpg Tarot Cards - Wands - Three of Wands: The Power of Manifestation Two dots make a line; three dots make a portal. The Wands are forward energy, not necessarily temporal or directional, more so an energy that relates to a non-staganant state of mind. Three of Wands is an exceptional fortune for anyone who is a wonder with a multi-faceted life. Sometimes we take time to create art, to process grief, to digest joy. Everyone’s timeframe is different. No one’s capacity is the same. But with this card, we all look ahead, into the portal, beyond the past. There’s a sense of courage and excitement knowing that the pondering will find its place to settle, the pieces will come together in their own time. We manifest. Trust the lifting energy brought by the three wands. What comes, comes. Trusting this card as an invite to a threshold into the next stage in our life is the best demonstration of a powerful manifestation. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632840814710-XG21EQ36UOQV8M56K853/4-of-wands_web.jpg Tarot Cards - Wands - Four of Wands: Playtime! work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632840918311-ARRY0MZ0BNCMIK5FNIQ5/5-of-wands-.jpg Tarot Cards - Wands - Five of Wands work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632840966531-2J4IF2WOERPN8QJLDGLL/6-of-wands.jpg Tarot Cards - Wands - Six of Wands: Enjoy It While It Lasts. “Through snow we ran, I recall her glance Then the ray fades and we split ways The moment you know that this will end And stay a memory, or a beautiful dream Why waste time When there is none? Wooh-ooh Enjoy it while it lasts.” —song by Easy Wanderlings @easywanderlings https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632841428436-ZGVZ9E4MOD24KR504NE2/7-of-wands--2.jpg Tarot Cards - Wands - Seven of Wands: Don’t fight the fight work in progress (Don Quixote and the windmill) https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632842508040-4BS8JHM35T4O9K4YP3LD/8-of-wands.jpg Tarot Cards - Wands - Eight of Wands: Fast-paced v.s. Grounded work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632842553945-OT7ULAWX6ADIR230BD30/9-of-wands-.jpg Tarot Cards - Wands - Nine of Wands: Take a Little Break work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632842718323-ZXK0F46Y6124ZXZW8LP0/10-of-wands-.jpg Tarot Cards - Wands - Ten of Wands: Release your Burden https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632842781759-XGFDT9WKXXOBYBWM52EI/page-of-wands-.jpg Tarot Cards - Wands - Page of Wands work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632842830561-XHVF1QCRES31P7H1WZ90/knight-of-wands_web.jpg Tarot Cards - Wands - Knight of Wands: Where did the butterflies go? “Use your words!” Most of us had been told so by our parents when we were young. As a toddler, we had needs that we did not know how to express verbally, either because of the lack of vocabulary or difficulty of processing thoughts and emotions at such an early age. Contrarily as an adult, we now have needs that we choose not to express with words. Most of the time it is because we do not get what we want if we say it out loud. Words worked with our parents because they were obligated to provide for us. It’s beneficial to them to figure out what we need by our words so they can get on with their day. Now expressing what we desire verbally sometimes does not work like magic as before because the person we address our need to is not obligated to fulfill it. Nine out of ten if a man asks a woman randomly in a bar for having sexual intercourse, it is not going to turn out well. It doesn’t imply that therefore the man should not have asked for permission. It simply means that the act of pursuing doesn’t work. After trial and error, in adulthood we learn that in order to get what we long for, we need to seduce. Seduction is an nonverbal form of persuasion through one’s charm, charisma and attentiveness. The act of seduction allows room for fervent imagination, enticing the subject into an illusive world that takes them out of their vapidity, a life without fantasy. Knight of Wands is the seducer carrying an insidious ability to discover what one thirsts for. There is an unspoken passion for them to turn the observed desire into the fire of mystery. When we pull this card, we are asked to take a closer look at our inner seducer: What do you crave for? What is your secret pleasure? Or, do you even desire something? What happened to that tingling feeling when you had a crush on someone in school? Where did the butterflies go? Did they fly away because we dull our desires to be a stoic adult as expected? Did they fly away because we forgot how to allure? If there is one card in Tarot about sexuality, it is Knight of Wands. It shines a light on our (lack of) confidence for wanting for more, for feeling sexually empowered and liberated. There is a part of us that never goes away: our primal desires. What does it take for you to get back to the sovereignty of desire? What does it take for you to feel attractive? What does it take for the butterflies to come back again? Even beyond sex, it is a card to call for the desire in us to be a passionate explorer of life, people, culture, and knowledge. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632843008836-4NE4TTVY5CEMCOSO1GYU/queen-of-wands+copy.jpg Tarot Cards - Wands - Queen of Wands: Magic of Meshing Fire and Water work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632843108060-203OHQ6R7EV6FSJUTO4M/king-of-wands-.jpg Tarot Cards - Wands - King of Wands work in progress https://www.nataliechan.studio/tarotcards/major monthly 0.5 2021-09-08 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1631200261830-2ZRX7Q8B0W1YAJKZYUUY/0_The-Fool.jpg Tarot Cards - Major Arcana - 0_The Fool work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1631200460633-2B3L1BXSGSJWDLZ33298/1_Magician_edited.jpg Tarot Cards - Major Arcana - 1_The Magician: You Are Magic (the sign language in the image) In an interview with Terry Gross on Fresh Air, actor Riz Ahmed talked about his experience of learning sign language for the role in the film Sound of Metal: “Listening is not something you just do with your ears. It is something you do with your whole body….Through [American] sign language, I was communicating more deeply and in a more connected way than I ever could have with words, because when you are communicating with sign language, you are communicating really viscerally with your whole body….Deaf culture, without hearing and sometimes verbal communication, really taught me the true meaning of communication.” And that is the true definition of the Magician. We may not have all the senses, resources or support we need to carry on as if life’s slacking. But we are not lacking. We adapt and make it work. Magicians can be found in the land of courage: people with disabilities are the Magician; single parents are the Magician; immigrants are the Magician; public school teachers are the Magician; we, the modern orphans ostracized without the Motherland, are the Magicians. The Magician card shines a sheer layer of warm light into our empty hands. Against odds, we are magic. From scarcity, we find richness. “Hope” is the thing with feathers by Emily Dickinson Hope is the thing with feathers That perches in the soul, And sings the tune without the words, And never stops - at all, And sweetest in the gale is heard; And sore must be the storm That could abash the little bird That kept so many warm. I’ve heard it in the chillest land, And on the strangest sea; Yet, never, in extremity, It asked a crumb of me. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632752450546-BVHXIHKSGXXSDTYZR14S/2_High-Priestess-2.jpg Tarot Cards - Major Arcana - 2_High Priestess: The Bittersweet Truth In Floriography, the meaning for Bittersweet flowers (the flowers in the drawing) is about truth and honesty. It symbolizes the deep knowing from our guts. High Priestess is always in the search for those moments: it could be brutal, it could be harsh but unmistakably brings forward the truth we need to hear. When we pull this card, our intuition is called for. When we know, we know. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1631200561649-VAN8RKE7E9TDAY2JH8KR/3_Empress_edited.jpg Tarot Cards - Major Arcana - 3_Empress work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1631208376818-HPAK6BE2E1WISEHHQ90W/4_Emperor_edited-1.jpg Tarot Cards - Major Arcana - 4_Emperor work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632752818953-CUYQF4DTJ6SXVJ1QBFB9/5_Hierophant-3.jpg Tarot Cards - Major Arcana - 5_Hierophant: The School of Self Everyday waking up to a sorted to-do list sets us up to a “muscle through life” mentality. Bombarded by the need of being productive, we are convinced that by giving away our talents, time and energy in exchange for financial security, in the future we will be able to enjoy the well-deserved retirement and freedom. What we give out, we subtract from within. The Self that we trade for is inevitably lost in the midst of so-called life. When we pull the Hierophant, oftentime it is a vital check-in: How are you? It is about our core: the captivating electrical sensation runs through our body when we are present with our aspiration; the joy that keeps us going, the underlying desire for self-expressions. It is a card about self discovery, a lesson about yourself, taught by yourself. Getting this card does not necessarily mean that we are out of alignment with who we think we are. There might be something that needs to be reminded. When we dive into essential questions about ourselves with the Hierophant journey, the source of how we get here is under the spotlight: what are our influences? What is our relationship with them? The Hierophant is an invitation of going through a mini-course of the Self which leads to a journey of evolution by acquiring assurance of the Self . The Hierophant asks us to ground our mind and shift the focus inwards. Daily practices: Morning prayer. Every morning when you wake up, either in bed or at your altar, please call for your spirits, helpers, gods, or ancestors to gather around you. Tell them specifically what you need help within your realm in this particular time in your life. This morning ritual connects you with the Divine that brings the support we need throughout the day. Here is an example of my morning prayer: Dear Siddhārtha Gautama, Amitābha, Avalokiteśvara, Kşitigarbha, my dear mother, ancestors, my three Spirits, gods of the Moon, Sun, Ocean, Plants, Animals, Wind, and all other energies that are protecting me, please protect my health, peace of mind, the health of my kittens, my dear Bat Haus, my family and friends. Please help me move through and forward with my Tarot deck production and publish it when it is done and ready to go out to the world. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632752977964-CKGTNFNLR5OUC205ODLL/6_The-Lovers-4.jpg Tarot Cards - Major Arcana - 6_The Lovers: A Self-Preservation Odyssey The monolith in Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey is the concretization of what humans essentially are. It is not the essence in Sartre’s “existence precedes essence” that we make uniquely with free will and personal choices. Rather, it is what all of us have in common: consciousness, the sense of autonomy. It is the most intrinsic characteristic we possess. We carry this sense of Self everywhere, all the time. Even with the presence of others, the subjectiveness of the mind persists. Some of us forge intimate bonds with others while keeping a keen awareness of the Self. We preserve our autonomy in relationships by continuously seeking a delicate balance between affectionate closeness with partners and separateness granted by our subjective minds. Psychotherapist Esther Perel expresses: “With too much distance, there can be no connection. But too much merging eradicates the separateness of two distinct individuals. Then there is nothing more to transcend, no bridge to walk on, no one to visit on the other side, no other internal world to enter.” The Lovers card calls for a deliberate maintenance of “the other side”, the autonomous Self where the monolith resides in us. Unlike the touch by God’s finger in Michelangelo’s Creation of Adam, The Lovers brings us forward to validate our own worth of loving. It is not God, or anyone else who can love us into life. It is our Self--as Perel puts it “Our sense of self-preservation inspires vigilance against being devoured” that has the ability to choose ourselves first, so the power to love. In an interview with Bill Moyers, Toni Morrison talks about love: “People don’t want to get hurt. They don’t want to be left. They don’t want to be abandoned, you see. It’s as though love is always some present you’ve given somebody else. And it’s really a present you’re giving yourself.” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632753204326-V94UO7N6G9IA6AH5Q7BM/7_Chariot.jpg Tarot Cards - Major Arcana - 7_Chariot: The Art of Oppositions In Psychology, cognitive dissonance describes a state of having inconsistent or even contradictory beliefs, attitudes, or behaviors in a person. For example, a smoker might acknowledge the health-related risks from smoking cigarettes but smokes nonetheless. According to Leon Festinger, those inconsistencies could cause tremendous psychological discomfort and confusion in us. Human beings, as a product of evolution, seek to reduce such contradictions at all cost in order to live and function properly in the world. But life in itself is full of contradictions. Every moment that we are living, we are dying. Every moment passing by with angst, we entertain ourselves with some banter. We laugh so hard that it makes us cry. We cry so hard that we start laughing. It seems inexplicable, but coping with the nuances of two opposites in life at times could be effortless. It is the beauty of the Chariot. Ruled by Cancer, the Crab with a hard shell and soft tissues, the Chariot embodies the paradoxical harmony brought together by the two ends of a spectrum. It is never an inclusive way to comprehend the external world based on a solely “black-or-white” perspective, but when it comes to the opposites inhabiting within our own Self, the inclusiveness emerges from the juxtaposition. We could be carrying sorrow of an old friend’s passing but simultaneously feel content with what had happened to him. We might not agree with our partner or parent’s political views (and hate them for it), but still love them for who they are. The Chariot is here to nurture us with the wisdom of the oppositions: ultimately the consistency is not reached by coercing the opposites into convergence but embracing the emotional ambivalence in life through acceptance and understanding. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632753325387-7C85Q7BDEMA0N9CHM8GR/8_Strength.jpg Tarot Cards - Major Arcana - 8_Strength: Facing the Absurdity of Life In the myth of Sisyphus, Camus argues that there is a fundamental conflict between what we want from the universe and what we find in the universe—”The absurd is born out of this confrontation between the human need and the unreasonable silence of the world”, as an atheist existentialist’s view. Humans try to live a life with meaning in an objective, indifferent world. There is no God, so there is no absolute vantage point from which human actions or choices can be said to be rational. We will not find meaning of life through a leap of faith, by placing our hopes in God. Living with the absurd, Sisyphus who was punished all eternity to roll a rock up a mountain only to have it roll back down to the bottom when he reaches to the top, is a true embodiment of the Strength card. Although being punished, Sisyphus’ free will and choices led him to where he was. He can not ever “solve” the absurdity in his situation. The only action he can take is to take responsibility and live his life to the fullest. We all will die, like Sisyphus knows that the rock he pushes up will roll back down eventually. The question here is not of the existence of God, but what we do then, as a human in this absurd world? We can believe in the existence of Higher power/God, but it is crucial to know that God is not the solution to the predicament we face in life. We are. The true strength is to understand that, even though we might have family and friends by our side, this lifetime journey is ours, alone. To accept the existential “loneliness”, and to be able to commit to living a life to its fullest, is what the Strength card presents us. The beauty of Strength is in the accepting of what we can not control yet still show up for yourself and choose to thrive. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632754457308-M62QW571OCOWGBK1OZ41/9_Hermit.jpg Tarot Cards - Major Arcana - 9_Hermit: Casting out nines There is a simple way to check errors in mathematical operations by removing (casting out) nines. For example, I add 35917 to 54861 and get 90778. To check if the result is correct, let’s remove any 9’s and any group of numbers that add up to 9 in the first number 35917. We get 7 (remove 9, and 3, 5, 1 which add up to 9), which is 35917’s digital root. Same thing to 54861 and we get 6. How aout 90778? We get 778 after casting out 9, and then add 778 together until we get a one digit number: 7+7+8=22, 2+2=4. Now add the first number’s digital root 7 to the second number’s root 6: 7+6=13, 1+3=4, which is the same as the result 90778’s digital root. We know that the addition was done correctly! We withdraw from the world into ourselves when things are not quite aligned, as an innate mechanism of error detection in our life. The Hermit, the ninth card in the major arcana, is here to check in with us. “One of the best feelings is losing attraction for someone who doesn’t value and treat you with respect.” @thefemalewarhol says. But how? What do we do to un-tie the tanglement? We all know when someone is being wacky with us. But we just can’t quit them. Easier said than done. Thoughts go everywhere. Emotions disrupted. We over-analyze, on top of all the other mess in our head. So we take ourselves out for a walk, we get quiet, we take time out. Maybe after a day, a month, or even a few years, somewhere in between those empty spaces, a tiny crack would open to us. We would fall through it, drip by drip, and come out to the Other Side. It is the side where people move on, wounds taken care of, tears wiped. The Hermit is there with us all along. It is us that we lost in compromises; it is us that we traded for lukewarm love; it is us that we left behind. Taking in more time, we reset. Casting out nines, we re-align. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632754546988-ZQ1NIVFF0F9BXFX4NXV7/10_Wheel-of-Fortune.jpg Tarot Cards - Major Arcana - 10_Wheel of Fortune work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632754791258-07OSMY01T7CES9RN2LNR/Justice.jpg Tarot Cards - Major Arcana - 11_Justice work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632755157625-S5PQMT2MUGS2944NUBGA/Black+version_Hanged-Man.jpg Tarot Cards - Major Arcana - 12_Hanged Man: The Practice of Detachment My mother used to say “Do not zhí-zhuó” to me. Zhí-zhuó in Mandarin means persevere but with a slightly negative connotation. To persevere is to stay persistent in a situation with opposition or discouragement. It is a virtue. Zhí-zhuó, however, is a clinging version of perseverance. Claws are out; pride is in the way, twisted. When zhí-zhuó gets stuck in the head, we grab on desperately--the relationship that isn’t working, the plan to study abroad that fell through, the dream of becoming someone else that was unsustainable. In the state of zhí-zhuó, the battle is already lost. “But what if..” like haunted echoes, we hold onto that whisper hoping for the outcome we are so attached to. The spirit has gotten rotten. Our mind is disintegrating into mulishness. The decay has begun. Ineluctable. Most of the time, what we could not let go of is our ego. When we put effort into something, we want to see the result. The thought of coming home empty handed is more than unfathomable. The thought of our whole-hearted love might not be reciprocated keeps us awake at night. Unsettling. We are held hostage by the attachment to the validation of what we long for. The Hanged Man is here to tell us the bitter news: the perseverance has gone sour. Poet Charolyn Forché says in an interview: “The greatest cure for depression or that kind of trauma is not...to try to withdraw into the self ...for me the greatest cure, the thing that pulls you out of it, is doing something for others outside of yourself, and committing to something that is beyond yourself.” The remedy applies to zhí-zhuó too. Oftentime what we need to detach from is nothing but our own Self. I was so zhí-zhuó over someone years ago. Naturally I thought in order to move on, that person was what I needed to let go of. Phone number blocked; social media unfollowed; walls built up. But the memory creeped back in uninterruptedly when I saw someone that swings their body so similarly to that person when laughing. There is nowhere to hide. He never left. Suddenly I realized that he was not the enabler. I was. It’s my Self all along that was doing the attaching. His existence on its own is just as pure as mine. Only by releasing myself from the prison of the Self, I am able to set free from that person, that thought, that unexpressed relationship. My mother never asked me what I was zhí-zhuó over with. Maybe she was trying to escape from her own as well. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632755259383-QK0EAXYM26B7Y4AKLVXL/13_Death.jpg Tarot Cards - Major Arcana - 13_Death: Let’s talk about death, no really. Have you thought about the quality of your death? How well do you want to die? Most of us would say: “peacefully”, “painlessly”, “regretlessly”, or “contentedly”. The first two are about being mentally and physically at ease; others are about living the best out of our lifetime. In another word, having reached the highest potential of our physical, mental, and materialistic state when we die is considered as “good death”. Death card asks us: are you living up to the good death? I became a vegetarian with a plant-based diet in the summer of 2020 after reading Dr. Greger’s How Not to Die. I choose to eat well because I want to die well. Paying attention to what we feed our body decreases the risk of getting chronic diseases or cancers significantly. This take on death applies to other facets of life as well. We make a bucket list because we want to die with no regrets. We pursue and define happiness tirelessly because we want to die in peace. I once saw a quote on the internet from an unknown source: “What would your life become if you committed to living as a fully expressed version of yourself?” Death is ultimately the direct reflection of life. Eventually we will all die, like the three figures in the card, waiting to go through the tunnel to transition to the other side. When it is our turn, are we going to be content like the first person, hesitant like the second, or so regretful like the last? Death is never about death. It is about life. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632755326739-5KHB98BLGX88EMEWFQ5H/14_Temperance.jpg Tarot Cards - Major Arcana - 14_Temperance work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632755374416-T9MGLWULTZT5NFQT9W11/15_The-Devil.jpg Tarot Cards - Major Arcana - 15_The Devil “Life in itself is neither good nor evil, it is the place of good and evil, according to what you make it.” —-Montagine https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632755853821-Z7EHIESRJR4FF6PZI3JB/Tower.jpg Tarot Cards - Major Arcana - 16_Tower: The Structural Changes Idea 1: disconnect one day of the week from your phone/computer. Tower card can indicate something sudden occurring in our lives, big or small. The lesson and advice it is giving, however is how can we structurally and behaviorally adjust ourselves so when the unexpected happens, we are aligned and grounded for the challenges. One suggestion is from Sharath Jois, the Ashtanga Yoga lineage holder. In his recent book, Ageless, he encourages yogis and everyone else to turn off our gadgets for one whole day in a week if we can. “To have a balanced life, we must be judicious about how we use our gadgets. Our gadgets lead us into an attractive cyber world, but remember, it is all maya. An illusion. See how you cut out stress by taking a break from your phone just once a week.” “Spend your Sunday with family or by yourself. Perhaps you can use this time to think about the other aspects of life, perhaps poetry and philosophy, indulge in a hobby, get in some RnR or just simply unwind in a park.” Tower is not about any upcoming catastrophe. It is a reminder of how to become structurally sound, physically, mentally and spiritually as a human being. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632761695001-2E60N8V2HPCRBZQ1DDYA/IG-AVATAR_17_The-Star.jpg Tarot Cards - Major Arcana - 17_The Star work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632761913906-NWA160FS2BWTA4UKR2QO/18_The-Moon-2.jpg Tarot Cards - Major Arcana - 18_The Moon work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632761957188-LFI6CLE72XIII58570MM/19_The-Sun.jpg Tarot Cards - Major Arcana - 19_The Sun work in progress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632762011308-JKS1QB2ELQ7G68UEWWQG/20_Judgement.jpg Tarot Cards - Major Arcana - 20_Judgement: The Godless resurrection of the self through the lens of accountability The day has come. You rise from the dead, taken into the presence of God. Judgement given. Sins forgiven. You leap into Heaven. Mischiefs do happen. No one is perfectly splendid. The belief of resurrection as such discards the autonomy of the self by delegating our authority to something other than ourselves; abdicating the responsibility for one’s actions and therefore, the accountability for the consequences of those actions, which in Sartre’s eyes, make up who we are. “Existence precedes essence”, Sartre claims that we enter this world (our existence) without any fixed or predetermined purpose given by God. With nothing to limit us, we take actions to become who we are and make the world we want to live in (our essence). As he puts it, “...man first of all exists, encounters himself, surges up in the world--and defines himself afterwards.” This tremendous burden of responsibility that one self has to bear, according to Sartre, is the paradoxical price to pay for the indisputable freedom in human life. Judgement card calls upon a process of a “Godless resurrection”--the resurrection of one self, for one self, by one self. The nature of the debate here is not of God’s existence but the absence of God. If it was not God who pre-determines our essence but our own actions and choices, the earnest approach to resurrect the dead in us---the wounds never let heal, the guilt crowding in the back, the lessons never learned, would be to hold ourselves accountable. With the Judgement card, we are asked to face ourselves with honesty. Being able to resurrect ourselves from the past is power. Being able to admit our own mistakes without feeling worthless is power. Only by doing so, are we able to fully take charge of our own life and leap into The World card. The day has come. You rise from the dead, taken into the absence of God. Sins presented. Accountability claimed. You moved on. Mischiefs do happen. No one is perfectly splendid. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60b64b8741ce7b7e85d0fddf/1632762070462-FRNI73A4YK8BXKLARZ6E/IG-AVATAR_21_The-World.jpg Tarot Cards - Major Arcana - 21_The World work in progress